The 14cm Willy
The "Average" – 14cm of Waxed Glory
Standing proud at a very respectable 14cm, the Average Candle is here to prove that middle-of-the-road can still light up the room (and your life). Not too big, not too small—he’s the Goldilocks of phallic candles. Just right.
Crafted for those who appreciate balance, modest confidence, and a whole lot of wink wink, nudge nudge energy, this willy burns with enthusiasm and zero ego. He’s reliable, drama-free, and never ghosts you after the first light.
Perfect for bachelorette parties, questionable shelf décor, or as a hilarious reminder that average can still be absolutely legendary. Go on—give him a light. He’s been waiting his whole wax life for this.
Burn time approximately 6+ hours
Please note: These are candles. They are not toys, of any variety.
Please use care & common sense. They are meant for burning, not for any other things. Don't pour the wax on yourself, don't pour wax on someone else, don't shove them anywhere (let alone anywhere you wouldn't want to have an awkward conversation with your mum about). Don't say we didn't warn you.
Please note: Hand made in our Bay of Islands studio just for you.This means that there is a 5-7 day lead time on all candles. If we can get them made faster, we absolutely Actual colour may be slightly different from the image. Our candles are handmade and there may be some slight variances in colour, please allow for some minor imperfections such as small scratches or air bubbles that on the odd occasion may occur from the moulding process. (sometimes). Unless stated, all candles are unscented.
Warning: You should never leave a lit candle unattended at anytime. Never burn your candle near an open door or window as a draught can not only be dangerous, but will also affect the burn of your candle. Never burn your candle near anything flammable. Always trim your wick before burning.
A flat plate or candle dish is always recommended for underneath. If the wax is dripping too much, simply blow the candle out and wait until the leaked wax has slightly solidify. Scoop up the wax and place it back in the candle, blocking the leak holes. Wait until the wax has completely harden, trim the wick and relight. This will make the burning time longer.
Never pour wax onto skin.These candles are not toys. They are not to be used in any way to injure or penetrate.